Okay. It's been months since my last post. So... a lot has happened since.
Just blogging to let you know that I'm still alive and gearing up for the holidays.
Merry Christmas!
these are my thoughts on various inconsequences like being a stay-at-home mom, a former military wife, the meaning of life and everything else in between.
Showing posts with label forwarded insights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forwarded insights. Show all posts
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Twas A Month After Christmas
Twas so funny that I had to share...
Twas the month after Christmas,
And all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled,
The chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties
Had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales
There arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(Less a walk than a lumber)
I'd remember the marvellous
Meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces
And beef nicely rared.
The wine and the rum balls,
The bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said,
"No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself
In my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again
To do battle with dirt...
I said to myself,
As I only can,
"You can't spend a winter,
Disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last
Of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake,
Every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food
That I like must be banished
Till all the additional
Ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie,
Not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew
On a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits,
Or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot
And quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,
And life is a bore...
But isn't that what
January is for?
Unable to giggle,
No longer a riot.
Happy Chinese New Year to all,
And to all a good diet.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Somebody Said...
I saw this somewhere. Just thought it was worth sharing.Somebody said a mother is an unskilled laborer;
Somebody never gave a squirmy infant a bath.
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby;
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal" is history.
Somebody said a mother's job consists of wiping noses and changing diapers;
Somebody doesn't know that a child is much more than the shell he lives in.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct;
Somebody never took a three year old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring;
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a permit.
Somebody said teachers and pediatricians know more about children than their mothers;
Somebody hasn't invested her heart in another human being.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out” okay;
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said being a mother is what you do in your spare time;
Somebody doesn't know that when you're a mother, you're a mother all the time.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices;
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother;
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first;
Somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to child-rearing questions in the books;
Somebody never gave a squirmy infant a bath.
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby;
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal" is history.
Somebody said a mother's job consists of wiping noses and changing diapers;
Somebody doesn't know that a child is much more than the shell he lives in.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct;
Somebody never took a three year old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring;
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a permit.
Somebody said teachers and pediatricians know more about children than their mothers;
Somebody hasn't invested her heart in another human being.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out” okay;
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said being a mother is what you do in your spare time;
Somebody doesn't know that when you're a mother, you're a mother all the time.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices;
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother;
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first;
Somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to child-rearing questions in the books;
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery;
Somebody never watched her “baby” get on the bus for the first day of Kindergarten.
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back;
Somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married;
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home;
Somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said being a mother is a side dish on the plate of life;.
Somebody doesn't know what fills you up.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her;
Somebody isn't a mother.
- Author unknown
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery;
Somebody never watched her “baby” get on the bus for the first day of Kindergarten.
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back;
Somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married;
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home;
Somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said being a mother is a side dish on the plate of life;.
Somebody doesn't know what fills you up.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her;
Somebody isn't a mother.
- Author unknown
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Job Description for Parents
JOB DESCRIPTION OF A PARENT
POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES
The rest of your life.Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs money.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule.
And be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery-operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY Y FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION
Get this...YOU PAY THEM!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growthand free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES
The rest of your life.Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs money.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule.
And be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery-operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY Y FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION
Get this...YOU PAY THEM!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growthand free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
40 tips to a great life
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Record your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to__ today."
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, & prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life .
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does .
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about .
24. Burn the candles, use the nice bed sheets. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business .
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time ..
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. So stop complaining about the weather, the job, the rent, etc. etc.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
34. The best is yet to come.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. Do the right thing!
37. Call your family often.
38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for ___." Today, I accomplished ____.
39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
40. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride."
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Record your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to__ today."
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, & prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life .
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does .
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about .
24. Burn the candles, use the nice bed sheets. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business .
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time ..
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. So stop complaining about the weather, the job, the rent, etc. etc.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
34. The best is yet to come.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. Do the right thing!
37. Call your family often.
38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for ___." Today, I accomplished ____.
39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
40. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride."
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