Saturday, August 23, 2008

My Stay-At-Home Mom Myths Busted

I quit my job last year and decided to be a stay-at-home mom. That last day from work gave me huge relief. I was finally going to spend time at home with the kids. In my mind I was thinking of doing crafts with the kids, baking cakes and muffins, attending PTAs -- the works. The image of this perfect mom with perfect kids, whistling while working, popped into my head. I never thought that being a stay-at-home mom would be one colossal roller coaster ride.

Here are a few lessons that I've learned on being a stay-at-home mom:

I never realized that house work was never ending. There will always be piles of laudry. The dishes will never be clean for too long. No matter how fast I work, there always seems to be, at least, one unfinished project around the house. And this is a huge adjustment from work where I just tick off tasks that are done and get on with the new tasks. Staying at home requires serious paradigm shift.

It is easy to be separated from the outside world when you're staying at home. I'm at home with the kids all day. My adult contact was limted to my husband and to my other relatives during the weekends.

Adjustment takes time. Actually, after 8 months of staying at home, I can honestly say that I'm still getting my groove. It definitely has its ups and downs but it gets easier as time passes.

No one is perfect. No matter how voraciously I go through baby books, know more about parenting than Dr. Spock or cook lasagne in 30 minutes better than Rachel Ray, I could never be the perfect mom. I had willingly given up that myth. And I tell myself that it's okay to make mistakes.

Despite the big lifestyle change that I'm going through, being a stay-at-home mom is wonderful. It is a decision that I do not regret one second. I love being present in my children's lives. And no pile of laundry is too big to deter me from being a stay-at-home mom.


hesitant wife said...

I do not have a baby of my own yet I know what you mean about housework. Never ending! Also, I picked up a lot of lessons from this post. said...

so true! it is only now that we don't have househelp that i get to realize housework is indeed never ending! but you are right, time with your kids is priceless.

jenni said...

I have been home for 7 years. All of my children are old enought to pick up after themselves and yet all I do is clean.

What I do is make a list of 5 or 6 important things I need to do that day. That's what I do. I also delegate the chores. Because my kids are 3, 5, 7, and 12 I can assign chores. That helps.

I know what you are talking about when you say adult contact. I think that is the worst part. I get so used to talking to children I forget how to talk to adults.

Balancing it all can be overwhelming. It is worth it. Good luck with all of this.

Pinay WAHM said...

Very well said Mommy Carol! I've been a WAHM for 7 years and I'm still trying to get my groove. Soon I will be able to say: Juliana's Got Her Grooves....hahaha.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.


Mariana said...

I'm also a SAHM and find the household chores the most frustrating aspect of it. I find myself staying up late at night cleaning up, and can never catch up on laundry. But, like you - I wouldn't give up all the quality time I spend with my two girls for anything! :)

chiara said...

hi carol!!! *sigh* we're naman i'm going to start managing our biz. At first I was excited, but now I want to go back to being a SAHM. I miss Quito every time I leave, tapos I imagine that he looks at me with hurt in his eyes for leaving him at home. waaaah!!!!

you're lucky. :)